Do You Dream In Color???

Well...I promised I was going to explain the job situation thang..so here it be..In a nutshell...

Upon graduating from college a position was created for me by the THEN President of the college. A "Post-Graduate Fellowship" in the Office of Multicultural Affairs. The position would give me pay, housing, and free graduate courses (which I later decided not to take cuz the program here is WEAK). The position was supposed to last a year. So last year around this time I was scrambling trying to get a reappointment which I did. So now it's the end of the year, my appointment expired on May 31st (which for you CHALLENGED individuals was yesterday) and I am out of a job because of the fiscal crisis that our institution has had the last year. As a response, instead of firing people, they decided to make large cuts across departments and not renew any position(s) that had "expiration dates" on them, which unfortunately included MINE. Now, in the midst of worrying about my position the last couple of months I decided to apply to Grad Schools. But alas, I went about the whole process wrong...I applied directly to Ph.D programs (as a student only with a bachelor's degree) in sociology/african-american studies...And as you can probably guess I didn’t get into ANY program (I wish someone would have explained to me that perhaps a better route would have been getting a masters first and sharpening up my credentials.) So my options are thin and clear now...NO JOB, NO GRADUATE PROGRAM TO RETREAT TO...So I remain in the job hunt (luckily I can keep my apartment until the first week in August) and also I am waiting to hear back from Columbia University; I submitted an application for their M.A. program in African-American Studies...so I am hopeful...Needless to say, you can really find out a lot about the state of your mental, spiritual, and emotional being when every door you try to pass thru is suddenly and cold-heartedly slammed in your face... And what I did discover is that I have a hell of a lot of work to do to get to the emotional place that I want to be...A wise person once told me that if they put Jesus on the cross then what in the HELL is going to happen to us in life. Being in professional purgatory is a TOUGH cross to bear and I feel like I am barely equipped to absorb it all...But this is an ongoing saga...so I will keep you posted....I just know one thing is true..The more I dream in color the better I feel.

In light of these interesting developments it would be safe to say that a brotha needs a vacation...I mean, nuthin would thrill me more to be a nice warm, breezy climate with a drink in my hand and perhaps some wonderful, masculine, semi-sweet chocolate, visual masterpiece to take me away (like Calgon) from my worries. I particularly find the brothas in New Orleans (and the south in general) to be a lot less self-centric in their attitudes/demeanors. The last time I was in Nawlins (smiles) I managed to stumble my way to the "other" side of Bourbon Street in a drunken haze...I didn't know that it was the Gay side. So as I am walking a kind gentleman with about 3 teeth in his mouth flags me down and asks me what was I doing on this side of Bourbon. I looked at him and said, "What do you think?" He smiled. Then I asked him if he knew of any clubs I could go to in the area....He kindly escorted me to a place about a block ahead ( a little hole in the wall place). As I walked in, heads turned...necks broke..and for the first time EVER I really felt somewhat attractive. A kind gentleman bought me a drink and wanted nothing in return. Yes!!! It was a small percentage of chivalry and it felt good; even if the intention was to bed me down which was not going to happen. The night ended and I felt a sense of relief. Why? well when you are born and raised in NY/NJ one tends to think of themselves as the GRAND MARSHALLS of all things cultural, social, and perhaps even political. I mean, there is a strong argument for calling NYC the cultural capital of the world. But to see people do things differently and perhaps even with more of a moral standing is indeed refreshing and shocking...

Bottom line is...I LOVE THE SOUTH.

Anyways, time for me to get back to my non-job..**shakes head** Till lata..

peaceloveandeternity,

Quaheem