Pre-Valentine's Day Meditation..."Me"
This Valentine's Day will mark my 5th year of single life...
5 years ago on that day I was cheated on...
Since then I've made every excuse as to why I have not re-entered into a relationship...
I've told people that I was waiting for God to send me the right one...that it just was not *my* time...that I just couldn't come across someone worth keeping.
But lately I realized something...That God had indeed sent me quite a few possibilities that I coldheartedly turned my back on. It was my time and I ignored the call.
I realized that I have been the only enemy...the only stumbling block...the only wall.
Who can you call on when your baggage has totally weighed you down?
Who can you lean on when you've burned every bridge?
Who will be there to make love to you when you've consistently NOT allowed yourself to be loved?
To every brother who deserved a chance and got nothing from me...I apologize.
It does sound cliched..but it was not you...it was always about ME.
ME wanting to have absolute control over the situation. But love, being a by-product of God's brillance, cannot be controlled--and as a consequence of my arrogance I remain in emotional solitude.
This is me falling into reality.
PeaceLoveandEternity
Q
posted by Quaheem @ 12:10 AM
5 Comments:
man, i admire you for acknowledging that within yourself... i believe that i experienced the same thing in my past, waiting for the right one and with it not being the right time but once I got over my insecurities and allowed myself to find comfort within myself to be with someone (as flawed as I am) I found out that it was okay, and that it can work, and that I don't need perfect conditions to get to that place, because i am not perfect (although it used to be hard for me to admit) but i feel ya on this one, bruh... i hope you find yours real soon... i always think about the convos i had w/ ya... u deserve it, u deserve the best... lata
I LOVE YOUR HONESTY! :)
SO WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?
I never get enough of self-reflection and analysis. It is such a powerful thing. Anything that leads to some truth is powerful.
But I will say this: even though these viable possibilities were sent your way, even though you turned your back on them...it still served its purpose. The time WAS indeed not right.
Nothing happens before its time (as cliche as that sounds)and now those experiences will allow you to open your heart at the right time.
I think I've been single for 5 years too.
happy valentines!
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