Yes I am Crazy (A Post About me Owning It)

Yes I am crazy...

Yes I am different..

Yes I am moody...

Yes I am an asshole at times...

Yes I am eccentric...

I came to this realization this year when I really examined the question as to why I have been single for so damn long. Then it dawned on me. Besides the standard "I have issues" drama I learned that as a human being I think quite differently than most of the people I have romantically dealt with. I am most at home with intellectual people who have determined in thier own lives that they are comfortable living as a mental, spiritual, and physical outlier to all the madness that the world has to offer...

I recently learned of someone's religious beliefs who is quite attracted to me. And for all intensive prposes I was attracted to him to but then we got on the discussion of my recent tarot card reading. He told me that the Bible is clear on the subjects of psychic and readers. I told him that I was a believer and that there are BAD psychics and GOOD psychics. A GOOD reading from a person with "psychic ability" will tell you things about your life that you already know..In a way it is spiritual confirmation. I explained to him that I believe that there are people out there that God has blessed with the ability to have vision beyond this worldly sphere. He disagreed citing The Bible. I said it was foolish of him to ASSUME that The Bible was the un- altered word of God since it was authored by man and could have been changed at any point in history to serve the political, economic, and social interest of the ruling CHRISTIAN Class. He scoffed at me. I then asked him if he thought homosexuality was an abomination... He agreed. I asked him if he belived that he could be "delivered" from it...He agreed and then went on to say he wanted a family and wanted to be married. So what was I? Was his his flavor of the month? Needless to say that conversation was quite enlightening and I have since left him alone. I have come to the point in my life that if it is a choice of going to the Heaven that Holy Rollers talk about going to or the Hell they always condemn us too I would choose Hell. I wouldn't want to spend an eternity worshipping a "selective" God so that would make my choice easy.

I also recently found out that someone I really care about is a Republican. So he and I go into an in-depth argument about the state of Black America. He went on about what Black people need to do for themselves... And for the most part I agreed. But then the sociologist in me couldn't help but analyze institutions and systems of inequality that have dramatically limited the opportunities of young black urban youth. So essentially we were agreeing but I was saying: "What about institutions in our society that make it easier for Black people than White people to be nihilistic?" But needless to say I was disappointed. I am disappointed these days in anyone that has a BLIND allegiance with one of the two dominant political parties.

I say all this to say..They call me crazy but I just think differently...I don't take for granted what I see or what I hear. This is true for my personal relationships and other things/events in my environment that could shape my point of view.

When your destiny is to affect people, places, and things in a major way people satisfied in their normalcy will call you crazy...and hey...I might just be. I'll ask the therapist I am going to soon if I am.

I just hope in my journey I can bump into another crazy person and it can be happily ever after.