Quaheem SPEAKS
Well...
I gave you all a week...and I only got 6 responses...(I am thinking if I had a picture up here there would be a LOT more interested people...But I am NOT going to do that)...
So I will respond to all of the people that asked questions....
Paul aksed...
"When will I get to meet you?"
Well..you name the time and place and perhaps that can be arranged...
Rodney asked..
"What are you looking for in a partner? What are your expectations and what, if anything, are you willing to compromise?"
I am looking for honesty...loyalty...spirituality...masculinity...faithfulness...I am looking for someone who finishes what they start. In this journey that I have undertaken I have been broken and been the breaker many times over. I am just looking for someone who is willing to take that risk with me...someone who understands that love sometimes can be a war of attrition--2 parties attempting to wear the other down with their insecurities--and other times can be close to perfection. In simple terms, I just need someone who can hold on for the ride.
What am I willing to compromise? I am willing to compromise my own comfort for the right person. Loving someone many times is about challenging the comfort of your own reality and stepping into uncharted territory...I've been comfortable in my own bitterness for a very long time. I've been used to running people away to make myself feel a warped sense of satisfaction. At this point in my life I am more willing to deconstruct my defense mechanisms and allow the romantic process to simple HAPPEN to me. I think my frustration has been that many people I have dealt with romantically have not been able to realize just how BIG a compromise that actually is...and to be fair, why SHOULD they?
Valentino asked...
"What is one thing you've learned in your 24 years that you will always remember? How did you learn it?"
One important thing I learned is that anger, bitterness, and hatred are all things that we CHOOSE to hold onto and that slowly but surely steal our lives from us...Much of the past 2 or 3 years of my life have been dedicated to learning how to forgive...Forgiving my mother and my family....forgiving my ex...And most importantly...forgiving myself for allowing the madness to enter into my atmosphere...Crying has been a helpful excercise--I truly believe it is a way to purge the spirit of toxic emotions (at least temporarily). And you only get to the point of true forgiveness and HEALING by living you life with your EYES open..paying attention to the world and the subtle messages that the Almighty sends...
One day it just clicked...and I haven't been the same since. I struggle with my anger daily but I feel that since I've been paying attention I am better equipped for battle. Yes it sounds Iyanla Vanzant-ish but it seems the more I try to intellectualize spirituality the more confusing it becomes...lol..so deal with it..:-)
Ladynay asked..
"Do you think you'll ever post pictures back on your blog?"
Probably not. I have gone back and forth in my mind about this. I really want people to READ what I have written as opposed to just coming for some visual stimulation (not that I am ALL that stimulating). The very REAL fact is that the visual may lead some people into my blog space who may not have come here otherwise...so that thought always leaves the possibility open...But I doubt that I will. If someone is THAT interested in seeing what I look like I would not have a problem showing them a picture individually.
"What side of the bed do you sleep on?"
I sleep on whatever side my dick falls on
Trent asked...
"When are you moving to my castle?"
When the construction is complete on my private quarters.
Professorgq asked...
"Are you coming to Chicago for Black Pride Weekend?"
Wasn't planning on it. Should I?
"What's your biggest fear?"
Death has always been my biggest fear. I have always had the strangest feeling that I was going to die a young man without realizing my full potential. These thoughts haunt me daily.
"If you were to pick the music for a party, what five songs would you put at the top of the list?"
(1) Junior M.A.F.I.A.--Get Money
(2) Prince--Hot Thing
(3) Aaliyah--Rock Da Boat
(4) Rick James--"Coldblooded"
(5) Cameo--"The Single Life"
"What is your current relationship with your parents?"
Well..my parents were divorced after 32 years of married life. I have not seen or spoken to my father in nearly 4 years. As it stands currently I really don't have a father..and to tell you the truth I never really had a father...never had a male figure in my life to pattern positive behavior after. I have 3 older brothers (38, 40, and 42) with whom I have really no serious relationship with. I speak to my mother maybe 2 to 3 times a month. For the most part I would describe myself as a loner. There is a whole segment of my life that my family doesn't know about and, quite frankly, would not understand. And I like it that way. We will never be a close family...and I have accepted that.
That is all for now...you all made me think a lil bit on this one...
PeaceLoveandEternity..
Q
posted by Quaheem @ 12:43 PM
10 Comments:
oooo I'm first. ow ! " I want someone who can hold on for the ride" I sooooooo feel that.
I see we share the same fear...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
about providing a visual:
i understand your reluctance. ours is a highly visual culture. i think we're conditioned to expect (if not require) an enticing visual image to accompany or reward any reading that we might do.
this might be even more present in the blogsphere. why? because we're not reading a news story or a textbook... we're reading about the lives of others. and, given our conditioning, it is much easier for us to connect/identify with the author if we can visualize him/her.
and i don't think it's a bad thing at all. clearly, my blog provides readers with plenty of images of me. and perhaps there are folks who visit my blog just because i'm willing to pander to their opti-centric desires... but i'm confident that what keeps people coming back is the quality of my writing and my clear desire to connect with the reader.
see, my goal is to cultivate a sustained dialogue with fellow thinkers. if posting a picture of myself brings more of these folks to the table, then by all means - let them come.
but that's me.
it's a very personal decision.
you'll do what feels right for you and what follows from the goals you've set for you blog... and i support that
Why are you so the bomb to me?
You know - I meant to post a question - but for some reason, that didn't happen. Anyway - howudoin' Qua Qua?
Coming Into Reality,
-Jamal
Wow man! You answered my question so beautifully and gave me so much of what I need right now. I'm going through a crisis and I can't begin to tell you how much your answer will help me through it. Thank you for being you. I knew you were special when we met all those years ago in the chat room. I'm so happy to see you have evolved into such a bright, articulate and sensitive man. I am honored to know you.
If you ever want to experience Black family drama, you have an open invitation to join mine.
It's true, so have many gifts and special qualities...
...and now I feel bad for not posting a question - and you know I don't need a pic *grinz*
I loved your answer in ref to "what your looking for in a partner"....I really really did!
oh lawd -- i meant to ask you a question ... good answers though
Post a Comment
<< Home