Growing Up

So I decided to go out this past Friday since there would be a lot of activity because of the NYC Pride festivities...

I hadn't been out since the first week in May when I got REALLY sick...And it all began great.

I met my friend on the pier...She and I were roomates in my junior year of college. She had a boyfriend then and NOW she is engaged to be married to a woman...OH how times change but they are happy together. Actually her fiance is an alum of the college as well. They graduated in the same year and got together. It's a love story. I hope all is well...it lets me know that all hope is not gone.

But anyway, I digress.

I met my friend in The Village and we walked along the pier for a second and then decided to go down to Uno's in the area where her fiance bartends and have a couple of drinks there while she was finishing up work. So we did that and we had a good time. I have never been an establishment where the entire staff seemed to be gay...It was a sight to see. I met a cute jamaican guy with dreads. When were introduced he didn't shake my hand or look me in the eyes. I really thought he didn't like me. Well when we left I was told..."You know ______ asked about you?" I was shocked. Needless to say I passed my number along and he's called twice. He is a real estate agent full time, owns a home, is 31....I LIKE. We'll see where it goes.

When we all left Uno's we went back to the pier and sat for like 30 minutes and talked. It was kewl. By the time I knew it it was after 12 and time to go to the club...GOD wasn't that interesting....

First of all I decided to go to The Playground. I hadn't been there in months since it reopened so it seemed like a logical choice. All I had was my bookbag which had my umbrella, return ticket on greyhound to CT, and my CD Player. To my surprise there was NO coatcheck in the club so I had to keep my bookbag with me. Luckily it was one of those black, gap bags so it went with the outfit I was wearing. So I go in and go straight to the bar and the place over time fills up...But I felt like a fish out of water...I was just observing the majority of clubgoers sporting the THUG look (which I affectionately call thug drag...because it is) and I just realized that I have grown out of this particular environment. To tell you the truth I would prefer a lounge which nice seating, nice music, nice drinks, and moderately crowded. I saw many familiar faces who either didn't notice me or didn't speak. All I could do is shake my head. I mean if I find someone attractive their face is FOREVER etched in my memory bank...but apparently everybody is not like me.

Basically I say this to say that I am over the New York club scene. It's tired. When I was 21 I would have had no problem with the thug drag and a packed club...But a month away from my 25th birthday I realized that it just ain't my scene anymore. Maybe I am just weird. Maybe I just think too damn much. Or maybe it's that I am growing up.

The only thing I know is that it will be a long time before I go to a gay club in New York again. I leave that to the "fabulous" others.

There has to be more out there.

I do certainly hope to talk to the jamaican fellow I've befriended. It is very rare that I come across a person and the attraction is mutual. So maybe it's hopeful wishing but dammit I deserve something and someone that will work out for me.

In bad news, I kinda seriously cut my left thumb last night cooking dinner and as I ran to the bathroom a bloody mess I realized that I had run out of band aids. So I went and knocked on the neighbor's door on the 2nd floor. The neighbor's husband came to the door. I stood there holding my bloody thumb in toilet tissue and explained to him that I needed a band aid because I had run out of them. He peeked from behind the door and politely told me he didn't have any and that was the end of our coversation. I eventually found a first aid kit from the Campus Safety Office (I do reside on campus here) and was able to clean it up and bandage it. When I got myself settled I really thought about how shady it was that the neighbor didn't try to help the situation any. I mean he could have been out of band aids but if someone had cut themselves and was bleeding I would let them in and make sure they are ok. But everybody is not me. I just hope they don't need anything from me soon....CUZ I DONT HAVE IT! Yes, yes you might be saying that I should take the high road with this one...

FUCK THAT! Sometimes the principle of a particular situation means that you have to make an unpopular decision.

You give what you get..Point blank.

Hey, the low road ain't as glamorous as the high road but sometimes the shit feels good.

Next Post: "I Been In Love Before and It Hurt So Bad".... a poem/song