Friday, September 22, 2006

Where The Hell You Been Boy?

Well I said it wouldn't happen....

I said that I would be like everyone else...

I said I wouldn't disappear....but alas...working 2 straight weeks of 15 + hour days just zapped every bit of energy I possibly had.

But the kid has returned in better and, more rested form.

--I started my indpendent studay project with my advisor/mentor about 2 weeks ago. This qualifies as non-matriculated master's work and I hope that I will be able to produce a writing sample that will best illustrate my intellectual abilities so that I can get into a M.A./Ph.D program FINALLY. What is my topic you ask? Well my main research question is: How is Liberalism concieved and implemented in a racialized context? In other words, why is it that White Liberals seem to be racially inclusive when it comes to ideologies and certain policies but are reduced to their racist whims when the situation is not economically, socially, or politically convenient to them? Being a product of a predominently white, Top 25 Liberal Arts college this has been the all-too-constant experience that I have had with White people who define themselves as "Liberals." It should be fun to inch towards at least a preliminary conclusion.
--Also I've met someone. I went out about 3 weeks ago to Krash in NYC (by myself, of course). So I am chillin along the wall doin my lil' two step and I catch eyes with a cutie who is apparently there with someone; that I assumed at the time was his man (it actually was his best friend). We locked eyes for about 3 or 4 minutes across the crowded room. When it was over I just went back to doing what I was doing. About 30 minutes later he made his way near me and tugged at my jeans to summon me over to where he was sitting. I sat down and we began to talk. In fact we talked in a crowded, noisy club for about 3 hours. And the rest was a wrap. I have seen him for last 2 weeks....And I don't know exactly what I am feeling right now. I have been single for nearly 6 years and the prospect of "returning to love" scares me and thrills me at the same time. I just hope he is patient with me. And we will see where it all goes. For the purposes of further discussion of him I'll call him NYBoy.
--Why in the last two days have I had intense intellectual arguments with people? I was called "Anti-American" in the first one for suggesting that Hezbollah has done more rebuilding of Lebanon than FEMA has done in New Orleans. But ain't the shit true? In the second argument this kid and I were discussing my independent study topic and I was explaining to him the concept of "instituional racism" and how really our society is no more or less racist than it was 100 years ago but as shifts in our economic system have taken place, the nature of "racism" has changed to compliment that. Well he goes on a tangeant about how "slavery is over" and the real problem is that Blacks don't value education like they should and blah, blah, blah. I was trying to explain to him that the crime in his argument is the simplistic reduction of the plight of Black people in America to simply being a fault of their own. Then he preceded to call my views "ignorant as hell" and then "I" proceeded to get offended and hang up on him. I can handle differing opinions but what I cannot handle is someone reducing a well thought out argument of mine to simple ignorance...How disrespectful...isn't a debate supposed to consist of two people who respect both sides of an argument? I respected his opinion even if it was not that well thought out (in my opinion). I guess that's what you come up against in these intellectual pursuits.
--I also decided to go back to Las Vegas in November for 6 days. It seems that NYBoy would like to accompany me this go round. I was trying to get a better sense of how how serious he was last night and so I asked him..."Are you really serious about coming with me to Vegas?" and he replied, "As serious as a heartattack." So I guess for the time being I have a travel partner...It should be an "interesting" trip...I will keep you all posted.
I think I have sufficiently updated you all...Glad to be back in the swing of things. Holla at me!