Thursday, March 30, 2006

Quaheem SPEAKS


I gave you all a week...and I only got 6 responses...(I am thinking if I had a picture up here there would be a LOT more interested people...But I am NOT going to do that)...

So I will respond to all of the people that asked questions....

Paul aksed...

"When will I get to meet you?" name the time and place and perhaps that can be arranged...

Rodney asked..

"What are you looking for in a partner? What are your expectations and what, if anything, are you willing to compromise?"

I am looking for honesty...loyalty...spirituality...masculinity...faithfulness...I am looking for someone who finishes what they start. In this journey that I have undertaken I have been broken and been the breaker many times over. I am just looking for someone who is willing to take that risk with me...someone who understands that love sometimes can be a war of attrition--2 parties attempting to wear the other down with their insecurities--and other times can be close to perfection. In simple terms, I just need someone who can hold on for the ride.

What am I willing to compromise? I am willing to compromise my own comfort for the right person. Loving someone many times is about challenging the comfort of your own reality and stepping into uncharted territory...I've been comfortable in my own bitterness for a very long time. I've been used to running people away to make myself feel a warped sense of satisfaction. At this point in my life I am more willing to deconstruct my defense mechanisms and allow the romantic process to simple HAPPEN to me. I think my frustration has been that many people I have dealt with romantically have not been able to realize just how BIG a compromise that actually is...and to be fair, why SHOULD they?

Valentino asked...

"What is one thing you've learned in your 24 years that you will always remember? How did you learn it?"

One important thing I learned is that anger, bitterness, and hatred are all things that we CHOOSE to hold onto and that slowly but surely steal our lives from us...Much of the past 2 or 3 years of my life have been dedicated to learning how to forgive...Forgiving my mother and my family....forgiving my ex...And most importantly...forgiving myself for allowing the madness to enter into my atmosphere...Crying has been a helpful excercise--I truly believe it is a way to purge the spirit of toxic emotions (at least temporarily). And you only get to the point of true forgiveness and HEALING by living you life with your EYES open..paying attention to the world and the subtle messages that the Almighty sends...

One day it just clicked...and I haven't been the same since. I struggle with my anger daily but I feel that since I've been paying attention I am better equipped for battle. Yes it sounds Iyanla Vanzant-ish but it seems the more I try to intellectualize spirituality the more confusing it deal with it..:-)

Ladynay asked..

"Do you think you'll ever post pictures back on your blog?"

Probably not. I have gone back and forth in my mind about this. I really want people to READ what I have written as opposed to just coming for some visual stimulation (not that I am ALL that stimulating). The very REAL fact is that the visual may lead some people into my blog space who may not have come here that thought always leaves the possibility open...But I doubt that I will. If someone is THAT interested in seeing what I look like I would not have a problem showing them a picture individually.

"What side of the bed do you sleep on?"

I sleep on whatever side my dick falls on

Trent asked...

"When are you moving to my castle?"

When the construction is complete on my private quarters.

Professorgq asked...

"Are you coming to Chicago for Black Pride Weekend?"

Wasn't planning on it. Should I?

"What's your biggest fear?"

Death has always been my biggest fear. I have always had the strangest feeling that I was going to die a young man without realizing my full potential. These thoughts haunt me daily.

"If you were to pick the music for a party, what five songs would you put at the top of the list?"

(1) Junior M.A.F.I.A.--Get Money
(2) Prince--Hot Thing
(3) Aaliyah--Rock Da Boat
(4) Rick James--"Coldblooded"
(5) Cameo--"The Single Life"

"What is your current relationship with your parents?" parents were divorced after 32 years of married life. I have not seen or spoken to my father in nearly 4 years. As it stands currently I really don't have a father..and to tell you the truth I never really had a father...never had a male figure in my life to pattern positive behavior after. I have 3 older brothers (38, 40, and 42) with whom I have really no serious relationship with. I speak to my mother maybe 2 to 3 times a month. For the most part I would describe myself as a loner. There is a whole segment of my life that my family doesn't know about and, quite frankly, would not understand. And I like it that way. We will never be a close family...and I have accepted that.

That is all for all made me think a lil bit on this one...



Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Ask Quaheem

I have come to the realization today that I have temporarily run out of things to discuss on this blog...

Rather than try to force some half baked poetry (like I was attempting to do) I am taking a cue from many other bloggers and allowing you all to ask QUAHEEM any and every question you would like to ask...

There is no limit on the number of questions you can ask...

There are no boundaries....

Let your imagination run wild!!!

And I will do my best to answer in a timely fashion.



Friday, March 17, 2006

Back on Da Block

What's good people??!!!

I know you've all missed me...So I have returned.

DC was interesting...relaxing...expensive...yet wonderful.

HartfordLady, her son, and I arrived in the District on Friday morning..and that is when the drama began. First we had problems with the direct bill that was supposed to be set up so that we could get our rental car. So in true LATINA fashion, HartfordLady proceeded to tear Enterprise a new one...She was so good that even UPGRADED our rental to a brand new SUV.

I love her!

Then we get to the hotel and find out that the website that we booked our rooms on was indeed a scam...But American Express is the SHIT--We stopped payment and rebooked and because they have fraud protection THEY will go after these lowlifes...

So after an hour or so of working out the details with the WONDERFUL hotel staff we were checked into our luxurious accomodations. I was also excited because I was supposed to meet someone in the evening who was going to show me some of the "hot spots" to get to on that evening...It didn't quite work out like I had planned.

I was stood up...At that point I was already drunk so I decided to drink some more. I had a minor "Waiting To Exhale" moment in my hotel room and then called a certain blogger who helped me regain my sanity...Everytime I have an expectation it seems to crumble right in my the rule is; NO EXPECTATIONS!

So needless to say, Friday was not a good day. Saturday was ok though. I checked in at the conference, said my hellos, had a really nice lunch and dinner, and brought it down for the night relatively early. Sunday was filled with conference activities until I decided I was through and headed back to the hotel and relaxed. After speaking with HarfordLady about my disappointment on Friday night she convinced me into going out to the club in DC by myself...She said

"You go out in New York by yourself all the time. So if you can do New York then why can't you do DC? Enjoy yourself!"

So after a nice tip about where to go from an infamous blogger/friend I summoned a cab at my hotel and went on my way to what ended up being one of the sleaziest gay bars/clubs I have EVER been to...But alas, I was out and I was in no mood to complain. I walked in, lookin fly and absorbing the stares...I ordered a drink and proceeded to people watch. The crowd dwindled down to nearly nothing and I went outside where I met 3 pretty nice dudes who gave me a tip about where to go on Monday night. When I checked my cellphone I had ALL three of their numbers in my outgoing call's funny because I can only remember giving ONE of them my number...but oh well. It was a decent time.

On Monday I checked out Career Services at the conference and then decided I wanted to take a walk in search of DuPont Circle. So I loaded up my CD player and walked in my dress clothes (why oh why) down Connecticut Avenue until I hit my destination. **sidebar** never walk two miles in Steve Madden dress shoes. And what did I find when I got there?

A few nice shops and eateries...a couple of homosexuals...very few black faces...It was sort of anticlimactic. The Village definitely has more Bohemian appeal.

On Monday evening I decided to meet the three gentleman I met the night before. We managed to end up at another spot which was not nearly as sleazy but was still different from what I was used to. The strippers at this particular spot got BUTT ASS NAKED. Having really only done the NYC club circuit I was a bit stunned when I saw these long schlongs whipping through the air. But who am I to complain about penis?

I also met a nice young (well not so young, he's 32) guy there. He had a nicely groomed afro so I leaned over to him and said; "I like your hair" which instantly helped us strike up a conversation. We left, grabbed a bite to eat, and called it an evening.

He eventually told me that he's *gasp* a hair stylist...That could explain his hair feeling so soft and wonderful. I must admit that I was a bit put off when he told me that. But he was cute and nice nonetheless. But hey, there are no expectations...what happens in DC STAYS in DC.

On my final evening I decided just to stay in the general vicinity and attend the closing event of the conference; the talent show/dance party. I was not expecting to have a good time and POOF!!! I was there having fun...Once they started throwin on the hip hop it turned into a black peoples/FRAT party. Never in my life have I seen so many gay GREEKS (I mean I have dated my share but never seen them all together in one place). So I enjoyed standing there and getting some eyes cutting in my direction...part of me loves the whole DL game of cat and mouse and the other part is so frustrated by it all...One even gave me the "nigga nod" as I walked by and I had to laugh to myself...I just kept on walkin and said to myself.."Yeah, you got it." It felt good.

All in all I enjoyed myself in the District...saw some cuties...ate at some wonderful places...stayed in a fabulous 4 and a half star hotel...Just lived it up.

As much as I would love to find a reason to complain I just can't. I'm blessed. But I am GLAD to be back to normal life.

So where should I visit next? Let me know. Maybe Quaheem can be coming LIVE and in LIVING COLOR to a city near you.

Until then,



Thursday, March 09, 2006

DC Bound

Headed to the DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA tomorrow morning...

I will be blessing the city with my presence for 5 glorious days. I will certainly have much to report about when I return.

Until then, be safe...

And try not to miss me too much.



Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Water & The Grapes and The Vine

I have a truly spiritual relationship with Water.

Some of my best writings/ideas have come when I was either IN or AROUND Water. For some strange reason I have always been able to to have a direct channel to the higher power under those circumstances.

Tonight as I showered in complete darkness..candles lit..I was sent this piece and I thought I would share. It's not complete but I will share the work in progress.

The Grapes and The Vine
By: HX

You plucked me clean
but I
won't let you be the death of me--
This love today
stands crucified--
You've got the grapes
but I've got the vine.

Are you satisfied
with a belly full
of ruthless ambition


when the tide turns
I hope you
can claim the same condition...

Hopefully the rest of the piece will come to me in a timely manner.

But this is all for now...