Monday, January 29, 2007

10 Q's From Q


(1) Why in the aftermath of my breakup have I been insanely horny? Is it wrong to just want a midnight jumpoff? Why does it feel wrong?

(2) Why is 80's James Brown my FAVORITE period in his career? His bands were tight..almost Vegas-y...And here was a man in his late forties and early fifties still doing splits...still doing 2 hour sets...still working the SHIT out of his band. Genius!! Need more evidence?

(3) Is anyone else convinced that Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come" is one of the greatest (if not the greatest) vocal performances EVER?

(4) Quaheem is ready to go out on a date. Any takers?

(5) Why is "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart more informative than the "REAL" news?

(6) Why did I choose to go to Vegas this past November when the NBA All Star Game is in Vegas in 2 weeks? Dammit...coulda got me a balla... (you don't keep just "play" with them)

(7) Is anybody else as impressed with the Nintendo Wii as I am? I'mma have to drop some duckets on that...

(8) Why have I not seen my father in 5 years? And why do I have a strange feeling I will never see him alive again?

(9) Why did I go through a half of a liter of Belvedere Vodka in two sittings? Maybe it's just that damn good...

(10) I need some vacation suggestions...Anyone? (I'll be in Orlando for a week in early April--work related but I will PARTY more than work)...I need to find another nice place to get away to...



Monday, January 22, 2007

The Recovery


It seems like I am doing better these days. The sting of the end of my relationship still lingers but it is not nearly as painful as it was about 3 weeks ago. Feels good to be single again (where I probably should have stayed in the beginning...but everything happens for a reason).

In trying to move forward I am really wondering if I am at all even capable of being in a relationship. I just know that recently I have had a physical urge to lay with someone...An urge to have unapologetic, hot, steamy, sweaty, agressive sex...Perhaps that is a result of the dreaded "rebound syndrome"...who knows. But you know what they say...The easier way to get OVER someone is to get UNDER someone else.

Maybe I'll try it...maybe not. Depends on where my conscience is.

But I am accepting applications once again. The admissions process has been overhauled and revised...The standards are much higher. So apply if you really think you have got a shot. I will not be taking any more "chances" with anyone.

I also had the unfortunate pleasure of having gossip come back to me regarding my sexuality...And ironically it ain't from straight people either. I mean...My closest friends and my mother all know...and once that happened (both voluntarily and accidentally) I made a vow that it really was nobody elses business...I am comfortable in my skin...who I choose to love is MY choice...why are people so concerned?

It's really been burning me up over the weekend. Not necessarily the information that was divulged (to people I supervise mind you) but rather, the outright catty and gossipy nature of some of our Same Gender Loving brothas. To be fair, I actually think straight men are more catty and gossipy than we will all give them credit don't think I am falling into a rampant stereotype about homosexual men...But the fact remains that some of my brethren act as if they were beamed straight out of an episode of "Girlfriends." It truly is frustrating because I think we can all be so much more "loving" towards one another...I guess this is one of the reasons why I have not EVER really been able to connect on a friendship level with too many gay men and the women that I am REALLY good friends with are more domineering, straightforward, and NON catty...In other words--they stay out of DRAMA.

But it is definitely alright...You have to cut the grass to figure out where the snakes are.

And quite frankly I think many dudes spend endless hours trying to figure out your sexuality because they want to fuck you or get fucked by you THEMSELVES.

We really gotta do better by each other.



Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Enlightenment and Insanity

I keep tellin' myself
I just can't figure out if I am the shit or the flowers...

Thursday, January 11, 2007

The End of a Love Affair


This relationship between NYBoy and I has gone bust...

All I can say is that it came to a violent conclusion...publicly.

I was swolen...slightly bloodied...and totally emasculated. But I am still standing and trying to piece some things together.

The way I see it is that if you are never broken you will never know how sweet it is to be "together." I just THOUGHT I was a good judge of character. Apparently not.

So...I am back in the field again.


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Glass O' Wine

Glass O' Wine

By: HX

Seems like I've given up
so please excuse my candor--
All I need tonight
is a hard dick
a glass o' wine--
I need someone
to cum
all over my bottom line...

Monday, January 01, 2007

The Poet

The Poet

By: HX

I am not a poet.
I am a foothill
between the here
and the hereafter.
Inspired by
neither joy
nor happiness
but rather
So step 1 means losing you...

I am not a poet
but it seems that I do
what poets do.