I am beautiful dammit!

I been WAAAY underneath the weather the last couple of days

Finally, found the energy from somewhere to post....

But I don't have anything to talk about of substance...

So INSTEAD... I will post my ALL TIME favorite PRINCE clip...This is what MUSIC should be.
And this is NOT what it is NOW!!!

I should just stop talkin about it..and BE about it...in DUE time children..UNTIL THEN ENJOY!!

10 Q's from Q

Time for another edition of 10 Q's from Q....

(1) Is it just me or is Kenneth Cole "Signature" the greatest cologne ever? It makes people want to lick you.

(2) Speaking of licking...Why have I felt the continual need to hump something for the last couple of weeks? Must be in the water.

(3) Could I just have 30 seconds with Nick Cannon? (I know he aint everybody's cup of tea but I like him dammit)

(4) Why do white people always say "sorry" when they are mistakenly in a black person's way? There is nothing to be sorry about. Move the fuck out of the way. Are they anticipating a beatdown?

(5) Is it just me or is Wal-Mart the devil? Don't think so? Talk to some of their employees about their benefits.

(6) Is it just me again or are all dudes between the ages of 18-21 fuckin crazy?

(7) Why am I just realizing how crazy I was then?

(8) If the Democrats lose in 2008 how pathetic a party will they be? (not that they, along with their Republican friends dont already represent everything that is absolutely perverse about American culture)

(9) Why is there a holiday celebrating weed?

(10) Why is _______ __________ a sexy muthafucka!

That's it for now....

Enjoy da weekend..

PEACELOVEANDETERNITY

Q

The Prophet and The Fool

The Prophet and The Fool

By: HX

The only difference between the two
is
that The Fool only believes
what he's seen.

On: Why I Never Committed Suicide

Life is a struggle. A struggle between sanity and insanity, love and indifference, pain and pleasure, light and darkness. I have often wondered what has allowed me to remain here…here in this cruel cold place. All my life I have asked God only one REAL question; Why? Why does daddy hate mommy? Why don’t I have a family? Why don’t women find me attractive? Why did he tell me he loved me when he didn’t? Why have I lost everything? Why can’t I stop the voices in my head? Why can’t I just sleep? And it always seems that at the exact moment that I think I am going to get an answer the response is just more struggle…more pain…more frustration. And as I teeter closer to the edge and look to my left I see someone jump. I look to my right and see another person jumping. I look ahead of me everyday and wonder if jumping would be the answer or, at least, relieve some of the pain.

I sigh and continue to stand here silently as an actor…someone who has perfected the art of illusion…smiling to numb the sadness…telling a good joke to perhaps bring someone else the joy that I wish I could say that I truly have. And when the curtain falls I retreat with a drink in my hand and thoughts spiraling towards unsalvageable entropy in my head. There are days that I wonder why I hang on. There are mornings that I awake in my bed and feel exactly how I felt when I was 8…having cried myself to sleep and awakened spiritually fatigued...my face lightly moistened with the mist of last night's tears. People call me and I feed them my rage. One after the other they drop dead and, in my delusion, I convince myself that it isn’t my fault…But it is.

And so I fight myself on the daily...alone. Sometimes lonely. But always alone.

I’ve been kept here even when I have not wanted to be kept. And after seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years of manically trying to figure it out I can only come to one conclusion:

To fight.

To fight for myself. To fight for the freedom from my own mind that I rightly deserve. I realized that if my services were needed on the other side that I would have jumped and should have jumped along time ago. But the God that I know has informed me that my station is an earthly one. So here I stand. Broken. Sorrowful. Ashamed. Arrogant. Hopeful. Afraid. Resilient. Loving. Passionate. Guilty.

Here I stand. Looking for the Prophet inside of me and trying to fulfill the prophecy.

This is why I continue living.